My whole life I have never been skinny. Always obese, even when I was young. I can't wait til the day where the doctor tells me that I'm not obese anymore just overweight.
I don't think I have ever wanted this more now than I ever have in my life before. When I was younger I put on a show for everyone, but deep down I think the only one that really knew my struggles was my mother.
I was the happy kid, never showed that my weight was an issue. Of course I got picked on as a kid. You would have thought I would have done something about it. I honestly had a really good childhood except for the fact that I was obese.
I had many friends, was active in sports mostly baseball.
The only thing that I always said I was missing as I got older and was interested in girls, was a girl.
I had crushes, I had what I thought was loves, I had dreams. But when it came to girls, I just wasn't the guy they were looking for.
You know the classic line, "I just like you as a friend"
Then after High School & into my twenties where I was hanging at the bars, I dabbled in all of that but never committed myself.
I tired the online dating thing but never was really interested or they would never pan out. Mostly because I would date secretly and not even let my family & friends know. Then when it came that time for ultimate commitment I would break it off.
Why? I was scarred. I have no other explanation.
Then came Amy into my life. She was the first girl that I really wanted to have my friends and family meet. Something was very different about her. I had always though I had been in love before, but I honestly don't think there is such thing as love until you find the right one. Then and only then do you truly experience love.
I used to always blame my weight for not having that special someone in my life. I used to beat girls up about it too (not literally...lol). Can't blame them. I wasn't for them, I was meant for my Wife.
I guess the reason for this long post.....
For the very first time in my life, I have a true meaning to lose this weight. Not only for myself but for her. She choose me, we choose each other. It wasn't about looks or about weight.
I love her so much that I'm not only doing this for myself but for her. This past month whenever I have doubted myself, all I had to do was think about her or look at a picture and get myself back on track. I've not slipped up nor have I cheated.
She's my true soul-mate, she is my motivation, she is why this time around......
I WILL NOT FAIL
